dunno-ness...

i used to think my asst manager in my previous company was a little off... he'd talk to himself a lot... i mean, he was smart but it was like there was too much information and too little memory space, so he had to think aloud to focus... i just realized recently that i talk to myself quite a lot... going a bit nuts?... i really dunno... but i'm definately not talking to focus... it'll be more lik... I can't believe u jus did that... its stupid... can't u think first?!... darn... wat is wrong with u?... perhaps... i shud start to book a room at taman bahagia...

maybe its just me... but it feels like the more time i have... i start looking for faults... i start nit-picking on the standard operating procedures at work... and since i'm the only person in the company with the title of microbiologist, no one understands the importance of certain things... and another lady who claims to have 4 yrs of experience in the microbiolgy department of her previous pharmaceutical company thinks that my proposals are rubbish... well, not exactly rubbish but it seems like she's finding every opportunity to turn down my ideas and impose hers instead... i'm trying to learn patience from it all... but i dunno how long i can take this...

everything's just becoming such a burden at this point of time... i jus feel like getting away... a week in the forest or something... away from it all... n hopefully the solitude will rid me of my self-talk as well...