...

Talking about dreams... i just had a dream last night... more like this morning since i slept late... i couldn't really remember the details of the beginning part but it seems i was with a few others whom i dun recognize as ppl i noe... we were at this place sort sort like spying on something... it was in like a village or something... somehow someone got hurt... one of them in our team... i later went to the hospital to look for the person... asked around for this person... but no one would listen to me... i was ignored, brushed aside... at one point i got really desperate... i held a pen knife to someone's throat... finally i got everyone's attention... but no one believed that i'd cut the girl's throat... they all inched closer to me coaxing me to let the girl go... they knew i wouldn dare harm the girl... they came so close that i got really frustrated and started swinging the blade at the crowd... some got cut... then somehow the next moment, i'm sitting down with some counsellor but with the blade still in hand... i was really upset about stuff... can't remember wat was it about... and i wanted to slit my wrist in front of the counsellor...

its just the stress i guess...just praying that i'll make it through...

Domokun...

u noe... i din have any idea wats a domokun til now... looks....... funky... hahaha... and i never would have known wat a domokun is if it weren't for ee-wah's dream... LOL...

ARGH!!

You choose what upsets you...

A little down today... i noe i'm unpretty... i dun think i have to be reminded that i'm not... even my attempts to better myself were criticised... i noe... i can't help it if some people are just insensitive... i'm forced to just take a deep breath, stay cool and smile... its tough... kept repeating to myself that i should not dwell on that statement too much that i have a choice over what upsets me... it did help a little... though now that i'm blogging this i'm reminded once again of it... *sigh*

Tagged...

3 hobbies:
... handicraft, basically cards
... shopping
... sleeping

my best yet

3 on your to-do list:
... clean up my room
... learn DotA
... to grow fat

3 unique traits:
... being very picky and a perfectionist
... can't bluff
... able to increase physical damage to nearby irritating but friendly units by repeated pinching

3 favourite games:
... freecell :P
... monopoly tycoon
... warcraft :P (just picked it up recently)

3 favourite drinks:
... lime juice lime stabbing is fun!
... ice lemon tea
... soursop juice

3 passions:
... art
... shoes
... music

3 awesome movies:
... The incredibles :P
... Crouching tiger hidden dragon
... Patch Adams

3 good bands:
... Panic! at the disco
... Good Charlotte
... My chemical romance

3 things you're anal about:
... repetitive rapping of fingers on the table, repetitive kicking of my chair or table, repetitive coughing, clearing of throat or sneezing, repetitive playing of a song i hate
... other ppl having it easier than me
... music that are out of tune

3 random men:
... v
... ching
... woon

3 bad habits:
... bitting my nail
... playing around with my phone when i'm nervous, got nothing to contribute to a conversation or i'm unfamiliar with my surroundings
... doing other things other than my work :P

3 relationship essentials:
... trust
... understanding
... compromise

3 painful experiences:
... being ditched for someone i knoe
... being the unknown soul in uni for the past two years
... losing my credibility just coz someone took and copied my report

3 treasured memories:
... the fun times that me, sharyl, grace and su yen shared before we went our separate ways
... at the movies with v
... common chit chating moments outside my gate

3 favourite holiday destinations:
... beaches
... islands
... forests

3 goals before 30:
... grow fat
... go for mission trip
... die? possibly finish a masters degree

3 biggest fears:
... being embarassed in front of a whole group of people
... failing
... not having friends

3 favourite desserts:
... 'tau foo fa'
... some 'tong sui' that my grandma will make each time we're back in Penang
... Americano *yum*

3 people to tag:
... i seriously dunno who has or has not a blog and it seems those whom i knoe have a blog have been tagged...
...
...

Pre-mission trip...

I've just decided not too long ago to go for the mission trip to Brastagi, Indonesia... it'll be in early dec... I'm not sure how it'll go... have to pick up BM again... haven't spoken a full BM sentence since form 5... this whole thing is gonna be a new experience for me... not very sure who else is going... suppose to be about 6 of us... mostly adults i guess... i might just be the youngest there... mom is actually kinda against it...
'you're so fussy about hygiene and all and you think you're gonna do ok there?'
'you're not going there for a holiday you knoe...you'll have to talk to the people and share...you sure you dare?'
'you're already so thin, what's gonna become of you when you go there?'
-_-"

why am i going?... coz i believe i can do more than what i'm doing now... and since it'll be end of my studies by then and before the start of any form of work, might as well dedicate it to God... I'm currently worried about sharing alone... i heard that the 6 of us might be distributed to different cell groups there... ARGH!!... I'm only just begining to be less of an introvert... but this is kinda like a big leap... and with my broken malay... hmmm... faith i guess... and a lot of practice...

The things I do to vent my frustrations...

my masterpiece

Acquitted...*woohoo~*

phew~
i've just been acquitted of plagiarism or more like collusion charges... well... not really charges but more of accusations... a friend (more to acquaintance since she comes to me only when she needs the help) needed the results to a particular experiment conducted a week ago... somehow... she din ask for it through out the week before... also, she chose that weekend to start searching for her lab manual and found that she lost it... so three hours before the time to pass up, she comes running to me for the results... alas, the computer i was using at the comp lab did not read my thumbdrive otherwise i would have just written down the results for her... so, anyway... i went to her comp instead... and she chose to copy my WHOLE report into her thumbdrive... she assured me she was only gonna use the results... she said the discussion part would be from a senior's report... i din think much of it until that day i saw a NA (not available) at a spot where my marks should have been for that report... i panicked like mad... i called up another fren wondering if she'd passed it up for me... she said yes... then my nex thought was tht the other girl did more than just take our group results... true enough... had to go see the lecturer yesterday... with her... paragraphs boxed in red ink covered each page... about 75% of my report was filled with that... some sentences tht i used weren't even changed... they were word for word the same!!... she just copied and pasted them straight from my report... honestly... i was furious... but i couldn't do anything... it was partially my fault... i just shudn't have trusted her with my report... i'm just thankful that she was nice enough to admit tht it was her fault... i'm REALLY thankful... she could have mentioned that it was her work... but she didn't... i was worrying initially if i'd have to prove that i was the one who did the work... but instead the true challenge was to convince the lecturer that i did not allow her to use my work... he first explained to us the procedure to go thru with when encountered with such a case... then... he said that he actually had to bring this up to higher authorities... he said if he did that... her report can't stand on its own... it needs a comparison... it needs MY REPORT... and a big fat ZERO for me... when all i did was innocently helped a friend... i was ecstatic thinking to myself how i'd be failing the unit and all... my life flashed before me... i was dumbfounded... somehow... she managed to convince him that i had nothing to do with it... and so he said he'd let it go this time... he won't bring this up to the higher level people... but she'd get a zero... my marks remained... i really think it was very sweet of her to help me despite knowing she'd be penalized for it... i mean... she could have not bothered about speaking for me... i kinda feel bad for her... i wished there'd be kesian marks for owning up for her mistake... i did thank her after the whole thing... i noe she brought me into this but it took guts and a lot of courage to admit that you did something wrong... especially knowing that you'd be penalized for it... really respect her for it...

through this whole experience i think i was meant to go thru this... my God was there to see me thru... and i really thank God for frens too... the encouragement and strength to go thru this...

i just realized this is the longest post i've ever written... =P

Wrongly accused...

i watched one episode of CSI the other time where a murder of three people was investigated... they caught a guy red-handed trying to bury the bodies somewhere in the weed-filled flat lands... he wouldn't say anything at first... so they investigated further and found that it was his brother who staged the murder... it finally got him talking... the guy was instructed by the brother to drive the bodies out to somewhere far and bury them... so... since his epithelials were all over the bodies and the car... and traces of blood from the victims were all over the seats... there was no other way to go about except to arrest him... the brother pointed fingers at him as well... none of the evidences made a clear relation between the brother and the victims... and though the CSI team knew it wasn't the guy who murdered the people... they could do nothing as they watched the guy get ready for execution...

i feel his pain now as i go thru this trying time... sometimes stupidity can get you into trouble... i stare blankly at my wall as i await my fate tmrw...