Separation...

Separation he says... it might work... trying to live life alone now... miss him so much... doubt it'll matter to him anyway... struggling so much cause I've grown fond and dependent... a month... what if he decides we should end it?... what if he decides he loves me but the feeling between us has fizzled?... what if he has found someone new?...

Been crying... just aimless at this point of time... Lord knows I've tried... less judgmental... more tolerating of his differing point of views... even try to be the giving one... all works out to nothing... feeling like crap at this point... so lost... can't talk to anyone... cause no one will understand... even I don't... was it cause of my objection to his other female friends?... can a girlfriend really tolerate that?... was it cause I didn't call or message him that often?... but it would have happened much earlier... did i not give him enough attention?... where did I go wrong?... 

When you have so much hope on one person... and he lets you down... "never put all your eggs in 1 basket"... a wise saying... but how do you not when it comes to love?...

I wished for amnesia... that I'd forget everything and start over again... or maybe that I'd die early that this suffering may end for me... sometimes the only thing that helps me sleep is physical pain...